Love's Problems
by Moon Kitten Koneko-chan
Summary: Aphrodite has some problems with how present day mortals react to love and desides that it's up to Cupid to help her 'fix' them. Oh boy! Poor Cupid! Better watch out mortals, love is coming to get ya!


Author's Note

Hi, everyone. I probably should be working on my other fics, by, well, this was a school assignment (history actually) from a little over a year ago, and my mom suggested that I post it, so here it is! It's really pretty short with three endings, but funny. At least that's what people have said. So enjoy!

Disclaimer:

I own nothing in this. Well, besides the plot, you can call it that. The Greek Gods in this were based off of the Gods from Herculesand Xena, thus the posting in this section. Their characteristics and personalities belong to the creators of those wonderful series. The characters from other series never show up, their just mentioned, and belong to their respected owners.

_**Love's Problems**_

By: Moon Kitten, Koneko-Chan

Aphrodite sighed as she watched the mortal world below. What was the problem with mortals this days? First, they don't see their own natural beauty and decide that they**_ need_** to look like the models in _Play Boy_, or those fashion magazines! And, **_then_** they have the **_atrocity_** to **_not_** marry for **_love_**, but money or something other ridiculous reason! Or get divorced over absolutely nothing! They were so-o totally dissing her! And it was all Ares' fault! Okay, so it's actually Discord and Strife's fault, but that leads back to Ares anyway. And she had **_no_** clue what to do to fix it. 'I mean what am I supposed to do about the aquatransexual with three fiances, and the two psychopaths who are obsessed with him/her!1 And I wont even start with the love lives of the Slayer and her Slayerttes!2'

"Hey, mom, you okay?" Cupid asked as he sat down next to her. He flinched as her saw her glare at him, and knew that she was thinking about the problems Strife caused when he stole his bow and arrows.

"Oh, I'm just peachy!" she said still glaring at him. "This is all your father's fault!"

"Er . . . . " he started knowing he wasn't going to like the answer. "How is it dad's fault?"

"Because he could have stopped Stife!" Aphrodite exclaimed. And decided that maybe now wasn't the time to tell her that Strife was **_still_** on the run from a pissed off War God.

"So, do you need any help . . ." Cupid trailed off as he saw the gleam in his mother's eyes. 'Oh, Crap!' he thought.

_**ENDING ONE**_

"Um . . . mom are you sure this is a good idea?" Cupid asked timidly.

"Of, course I am! I'm The Goddess of Love and Beauty I know these things!" Aphrodite answered back.

"But . . . . " Cupid tried to say. Aphrodite rolled her eyes and took the bow.

"Fine, I'll do it myself." she said as she shot.

". . . he's gay." Cupid finished quietly. Aphrodite sweatdroped.

"Ah . . . oops."

_**ENDING TWO**_

" Mom . . ." Cupid started to say, but Aphrodite cut him off.

"Yes, Cupie, I know you don't like this plan, but what better way to fix this than to become part off the Slayer's circle of friends? I mean can you think of anything? And maybe we'll even find a way of preventing Alexander3 from being a Demon magnet. And yeah Chronus isn't happy with us traveling back in time but well, he's **_never_** happy."

". . . actually I was just wondering why I have to be a girl."

"Er. . . . well I always wanted a daughter to give make-up tips to." Cupid sweatdrops.

_**ENDING THREE**_

Cupid sighed as he walked out of his mother's rooms. 'I can't believe her,' he thought. 'The world might end because of Strife's mischief and she wants chocolate cheesecake.'

_**END**_

1: Ranma ½, an anime. The main character, Ranma, is cursed to turn into a girl when hit with cold water, and back into a guy when hit with hot water. And yes he does have three fiances (okay, three permanent ones.) And two psychos how either want to kill him (or her) or want to date him (or her) depending on his form.

2: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A good show I loved it when it was on. Anyway, it is true the main characters have **_really_** sucky love lives.

3: Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Ending Author's note:

Well, that's it! I would really like to know which ending you liked best, and if you want me to continue any of these endings (and if you do, which one.). 'Kay, well, Ja Ne, til next time!

Moon Kitten, Koneko-Chan


End file.
